Online Counselling - How to Make it Work for You
In response to COVID-19, many clients are finding themselves having to move to an online platform for their therapy appointments. For some, the idea of moving online can be a little challenging, especially if online counselling was not the forum that they had originally chosen to engage with their therapist.
This post is designed to take away some of that fear and to give you some tips as to how to make the online counselling experience really work for you.
The elements of in-person therapy
Many of our clients at The Grove, love coming to our practice and often describe the space as if it is “like coming home”. It is a place they associate with safety and ease.
Prior to attending their appointment, clients travel to see us. Upon arrival they take time to make the most of the herbal tea on offer & enjoy a moment to reflect on their life in the gentle space of the waiting room. The waiting room often has a candle burning, there are fresh flowers on the mantle & there is soothing music playing. The session is held in a cosy space, with comfortable furniture, soft lighting and a great sense of privacy. At the end of the session, the therapist and the client make plans regarding their therapy, before the client then moves back out into their world, again traveling back to from where they came.
How can we adapt this to the online counselling experience?
There are a lot of elements here that contribute to the quality of the therapy experience. As we find ourselves being required to quickly adapt to the online world, my invitation to you is to consider what of the above could you choose to actively incorporate in to your online counselling experience?
Tip 1: Give yourself space to ‘transition in’
The first step described above is the client ‘travelling’ to their appointment. This may be in the car, by public transport or on foot. However this is done, during the time of travel the client experiences a ‘transition’ to a new location.
As you engage in online counselling and there is no need for travel, I invite to you to consider how you might create a similar sense of ‘transition’ prior to your therapy appointment?
What did you associate with the transition?
When you travelled to your therapy appointment previously, were there certain things you associated with the trip? Consider:
What time you left work / home to reach your appointment
Music / podcast you may have listened to
Book you would read on the train
Time of day you met
What you would wear / how you had prepared your physical appearance
Items you may have brought with you to your session (i.e. your journal or water bottle)
Create a ‘transition in’
Having considered what you associated with the transition in traveling to therapy, choose one (or multiple) thing(s) that feel meaningful and easy to repeat in online counselling for yourself.
With this experience / item in mind, I now want you to very consider how you might intentionally enact a sense of travelling / transitioning to a new space & time, that would feel both achievable & meaningful to you? Consider:
Stopping work / study 30mins ahead of your appointment time
Taking time to prepare your appearance as if you were heading out to meet your therapist
Leaving your home and taking a 15min walk and really inviting yourself to take in the nature you see along the way, before returning to home for your online counselling session
On your walk listening to the music / podcast you associated with traveling to therapy
Heading out to the café that you would collect your takeaway from prior to therapy & purchasing a coffee before your session
Giving yourself space to sit quietly and read that book / listen to that podcast / reflect in your journal - that perhaps you engaged in on your way to session previously
Meeting with your therapist online, at the same time you would have met with them in-person
Tip 2: Create a calm & safe space
The next aspect of attending, is around ‘preparing’ for the session. This is as much about preparing ourselves & the space that we will be engaging in therapy.
What did you associate with waiting for your therapy appointment?
In our experience, it is those clients that are calm & settled prior to their session that get the most out of the therapy experience. So how could you create that for yourself?
Take a moment to read back around the elements that we offer in waiting room at The Grove. Think about the positive associations you have with your waiting room experience and / or consider what positive associations you could you create?
Create a calm & safe space
The idea here is that we want to help you create a space & time that feels separate to your everyday world at home.
Consider:
a) Difference of location
Choosing a room or a location in your room, separate to you where you would normally be
Is it possible to avoid being at your desk (association = work / study) or in your bed (association = sleep)?
if this is not possible, engage with these spaces in a different way than you normally would – i.e. on your bed rather than in
b) Privacy
Wonder about a space that could be made to feel very private – perhaps your car, your bedroom or a room far from others in the house
Consider when others are more likely to be absent from the house and choose to meet your therapist then
Wearing ear phones so that the voice of your therapist doesn’t travel beyond you
Turning on music outside of your space to create a noise buffer & prevent the sound of your voice travelling beyond your location
Placing a towel underneath the door
Letting others know that you are in a meeting and that you are not to be disturbed
Reducing tech anxiety
Downloading any software required ahead of your session time
Making sure your camera is clean
Ensuring you have a power cable or your device is sufficiently charged
Figuring out a way to support your device at eye level without you having to hold it in your hands / or on your knees
Taking some time to adjust the lighting so that your face will be clear of shadow
c) What items do I need with me?
Are there props you and your therapist often use? If so, have them nearby. This might include journal or a sketch book & crayons, for example.
Having your diary ready in preparation for scheduling
Credit card for payment
d) Bring a sense of calm
Bringing some order to the space to give you sense of ease
Lighting a candle for yourself prior settling in the space
Clearing the space with sound or scent
e) Engaging in some self-care
Making yourself a herbal tea
Ensuring you have tissues & water at the ready
Going to the bathroom ahead of time
Having a warm blanket or some cushions around you
Choosing a comfortable supportive furniture to locate yourself in during session
Taking some time to ground yourself & reflect on what is there for you today
Tip 3: Give yourself space to ‘transition out’
It is as important to make space to ‘transition in’ to therapy as it is to ‘transition out’. You may have noticed that your therapist sometimes inquires about what you will be doing after session. This is about your therapist assisting you to transition from the therapy space to the rest of life. At the end of your session before you engage in the rest of life, what is it that typically happens for you? Often there will be an experience of travelling away from the therapy space. Consider what you associate with this and how you could recreate this?
Create a ‘transition out’
Drawing from meditative practices, I often think about the concept of ‘as we enter, so we leave’. Consider:
If you lit a candle before your session, now blow it out
If you cleared the space, now clear it again
If you are typically one to reflect post session, take some time to do that now – think about journaling
Take time to return your space to it’s everyday purpose
Only once this is all done, re-open your door
If you took a walk prior to your online session, take a walk afterwards
Having sat for a while you may feel inclined to move – give yourself permission to stretch
If your ‘transition in’, involved listening to music or a particular podcast, allow that to be a part of your ‘transition out’
As you would thank your therapist for the session, take some time to thank yourself & your space for enabling the session
Thinking about allowing yourself to further support yourself with some nutritious warm food
As you return to your everyday life, give yourself time & space to engage gradually – i.e. don’t schedule a conference call immediately after your session
Allowing what is there to unfold in its own right way
Tip 4: Be open & adjust
Moving to online counselling from an in-person therapy experience requires an openness to the experience. Be kind with yourself in it. There may be things that do not work so well the first time, but give yourself permission to adjust.
Tip 5: Consistency
Safety is often felt in the consistency of experience. If any of the above worked for you, consider engaging these practices again for your next online counselling session.
Mental health is always important. However, during this period of required isolation and significant change in our lives, consider how you can continue to maintain the supports & resources that work for you. If you or someone you know is seeking counselling support, please know that we are here. Whether you’re looking for online or in-person counselling, both are available with all of our therapists at The Grove.
We hope this resource is helpful for anyone engaging in online counselling & please feel free to share.