What is counselling, and how do I know when to see a counsellor?
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Counselling involves talking about and addressing your personal problems with a trained professional. They’ll help you clarify what’s happening, explore coping strategies, and increase your self-awareness. A counsellor won’t tell you what to do; they’ll simply help you to work out the best options for you.
Counselling can help you through distressing situations in life, including infertility, bereavement, confusion surrounding identity, discrimination, and abuse, as well as mild to severe mental health issues.
A counsellor is required to keep your discussions confidential unless you tell them something that threatens your own or someone else’s health and safety. Legally, they should report any threats you make to the relevant authorities because they have a duty of care to protect you or persons that they might consider to be vulnerable around you.
What is the Purpose of Counselling?
The purpose of counselling is to develop ways to manage your thoughts and behaviours in positive, constructive, and healthy ways. Holistic counselling can help relieve the symptoms of many mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia, and more. Left without treatment, these conditions can affect a person’s physical and social wellbeing.
Counselling can help you heal, accept your situation in a positive way, improve your outlook on life, and enhance your relationships with your loved ones.
What Does a Counsellor Do?
All counsellors help people to develop healthier ways of managing their mental health; however, the responsibilities of a counsellor working as part of a mental health service in a school or council-run service for vulnerable people will usually have different duties than a counsellor who operates privately. A counsellor in a large mental health service facility may provide round-the-clock care during operational hours. They will work alongside colleagues to offer support to clients. A private counsellor will usually see a client for a short time span, for example, once a week for six weeks.
Some counsellors are trained to support a specialised need such as anger management, coping after a bereavement, or addiction management. Other counsellors may work with people from different demographics, such as children, people with learning difficulties, young people, or the elderly while relationship counsellors can help navigate romantic and family relationships.
Other counselling roles could include:
Providing care and support to people who have been diagnosed with cancer and their families.
Educating people on genetic diseases and helping them to manage their emotions around their diagnosis.
Supporting families who are struggling to get pregnant or who have had an unplanned pregnancy.
Should I see a counsellor or psychologist?
If you’ve been struggling with your mental health and have felt stressed or depressed for a while and it feels like those feelings are unlikely to pass any time soon, it could be beneficial to see a counsellor. Gone are the days where seeking help for mental health problems was taboo. Counselling is accessible and encouraged for anybody who needs support to cope with the stresses of life that we all go through.
The signs that you might need to engage in counselling include:
The intensity of your emotions is more frequent.
You might be going through burnout, stress, or depression if you’re feeling sadness, pessimism, anger, or frustration for a prolonged period of time. If you find these emotions are starting to negatively affect your relationships with your friends or you’re sleeping more or less than usual, it might be time to see a counsellor or psychologist.
You’re developing unhealthy vices.
If you’ve developed a drink or drug problem or are engaging in unsafe sex, you should seek support from a qualified professional who will hold a safe space for you to help you replace these unhealthy behaviours with positive coping mechanisms.
You have more negative than positive thoughts.
If you’re having thoughts about harming yourself or others or your thoughts are having a poor effect on your self-esteem, it is a good idea to discuss your feelings with a counsellor to prevent the thoughts from taking over your life.
You’ve thought about harming yourself.
If you’ve been thinking that you’re a failure and your friends and family would be better off without you, these feelings need to be dealt with to prevent them from growing or the wrong action being taken. It can be difficult to open up to the people around you about how you’re feeling. You may not want to hurt their feelings, or you might want to protect them or yourself from feelings of guilt. Talking with a counsellor is a great way to make sense of why you want to hurt yourself and develop coping strategies that will reduce those thoughts over time and lead to you having a happier and calmer mindset and lifestyle.
You’ve lost interest in your hobbies.
Hobbies are important for unwinding, connecting with likeminded people, improving self-esteem, keeping the brain active, and having a good quality of life. If you’ve lost interest in activities you previously enjoyed, speaking to a counsellor can help you either regain your interest in your hobbies or discover more fulfilling activities.
You need someone to listen without judging you.
Sometimes you just need a sounding board. If you’ve ever seen a sitcom, drama, or soap where someone is talking ‘at’ someone else about a situation they’re going through but not giving them a chance to respond before they eventually come to some resolution without the other person needing to put their two cents in, you’ll have seen that sometimes just saying the words out loud to somebody can be helpful. You don’t always need the advice; you just need a friendly ear and a smile. A counsellor can be an impartial listener to support the innate human need to be heard.
You need support in managing emotions after a serious medical diagnosis.
If you’ve been diagnosed with a medical condition that could affect your long-term quality of life or is terminal, it’s common to feel anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, and possibly guilt. A counsellor with training in this area might conduct acceptance therapy with you individually. Some counsellors might also invite you to participate with your partner or alongside members of your family.
You’ve found out that you carry a gene that could affect the chances of any future children.
Finding out you’re carrying a faulty gene that you could pass onto any future children you have is devastating. For example, Huntington’s is a condition affecting the brain and its ability to function over time. Symptoms include depression, mood swings, problems breathing or swallowing, and memory lapses, amongst others. The parent may have the gene but never develop the symptoms, but they can pass it on to a child who’ll have the symptoms. Similarly, the parent could have the gene and symptoms and pass them on to their child, who’ll almost certainly develop the symptoms, usually around the ages of 30 to 50 years of age. This condition can be fatal around 20 years after the first signs and symptoms become apparent.
A counsellor can help you express your feelings about your genetic condition and help you develop healthy ways of managing them so you can make sound decisions about fertility and the future.
If you’ve been thinking that you should see a counsellor or psychologist, at The Grove Counselling, we always suggest giving it a try and seeing if it’s for you or not. If you’re ready to give it a go, our experts will be happy to assist you and will help you find the best counsellor to help you develop your treatment goals.